6 Months | A Letter to My Son

My sweet boy, how you have changed our lives. I’ve felt more purpose and more love in the last six months than I have in my previous 29 years. You are responsible for so many of my smiles, so much of my laughter, and much of my pride every single day. You are an amazing little human and I often sit back and marvel at how lucky I am to be your mother.

I have also felt more exhaustion, more frustration, and more doubt then I ever have before.

I wonder constantly what you will be like when you’re older. What you will be like next week, next month, next year. I marvel at how often you change, at how much you absorb and learn, at how interested you are in the world around you. I worry that you aren’t where you should be developmentally, that something will go wrong, that I’m not doing a good job.

I worry. I worry so much, and often. I check on you at night. I check on you while you’re napping during the day. I keep an eye on you constantly, always wondering if you’ll be ok. Everything that can go wrong runs through my head on a daily basis. I can’t help it because I’ve seen the worst that can happen. I still don’t believe that I get to keep you.

You are so loved. You have no idea how loved you are and by how many people. You were so anticipated and everyone waited so long to meet you. Now that you are here we all get to experience first hand how easy it is to love you.

You adore people. When we’re out running errands it’s easy for strangers to get you to smile. You are happy nearly all the time. You smile the biggest in the morning when you first wake up, when your Daddy gets home from work, or when you see your Grandparents or Auntie on FaceTime. You are starting to really notice Everett and Bruno and you smile at them when they’re near you.

You absolutely hate being on your stomach. A good way to get you to hysterically cry is to force you to do tummy time. Your Papa is convinced it’s a form of infant torture, given the way you react to it. But you are quick to forget and go back to being happy again once it’s over. You can sit up assisted but you are far too active to sit on your own just yet. You are constantly reaching and stretching in front of you and falling forward in the process. I refer to this as “self-inflicted tummy time” and you hate it just as much as when I make you do it. You are starting to grab at things more and more. Most recently at things you shouldn’t grab at, like my phone.

You sleep through the night most nights. You sleep late in the morning, allowing me to sleep late as well. You don’t nap well and you will sometimes fight sleep during the day. Sometimes it takes some extra cuddling to get you to nap. You typically only nap for 20-30 minutes before you’re awake and happy again. Since you sleep 14+ hours at night I really can’t complain.

You love your bouncer. If I ever need to get anything done I can put you in your bouncer and you’re content for a while. This is often where you are when I’m making dinner. You’re very interested in food and so far you’ve tried ice cream, whipped cream, and vanilla pudding, all of which I was eating and you clearly wanted me to share. You think coughing is hilarious and you laugh whenever I cough. You will fake cough just to get me to laugh with you. You love when your Daddy sings Itsy Bitsy Spider to you. Even just the hand gestures without singing make you smile.

You fit into our lives so well. We take you with us wherever we go. Sometimes when you’re fussy at home we go out and run errands because you like being out and about. You’ve probably been to more breweries than the average adult. You’ve been on five trips so far and you’ve visited friends and family in six states (MN, OH, PA, VT, CT, and NH). You’ve met all of your six great-grandparents and they all adore you.

You are an absolute joy to have in our lives. I couldn’t ask for a more well-behaved baby. I honestly think I’m completely spoiled by you because you’re so good most of the time. Happy half birthday Ben. We love you. <3

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Hi. I'm Sam. I'm glad you're here. This blog of mine is a place for me to write about whatever I'd like... maybe you'll be interested in what I decide to put here. That would be awesome, wouldn't it? :)

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